First Open Mic Night and My Return To JTV

I want to say I do not know what to say, but truthfully I do know what I want to say. It seems everything in this chapter is ending. I feel so good right now so happy, I feel as if I conquered the world and I haven’t even stepped out on stage yet. I lived a horrible life, I still feel as if there are going to be millions of trials that I must encounter. However, I feel so accomplished me being off from JTV me being off everything was for me to finally be able to find myself more than I already have.

Have I done that yes and no, I still feel I need to learn more I need to gain more in my life until I am able to say yes. However, I feel a huge chunk of relief I was unmotivated I still have my doubts about pursuing comedy and JTV 100% but now I know this is why I am here on this planet. There is no alternative, I do not have a shlong cannot be in porno, do not have smarts, do not have athletic figure, do not have looks. All I got is making people laugh and making people feel good about themselves.

So you know what? I am gonna fight for myself and you all. I have sat down for two years, I cried for years and years I was scared. I was beaten by my mother and step father, I was molested by my sister and stepdad, my grandma almost died four times, my other sister is retarded, my other sister is gay. My Uncle Kevin is in jail for getting my gay sister pregnant, My grandma went into the hospital over 70 times! My grandma has cancer, high blood pressure, and diabetes.

My mother wanted to give me up for adoption, the women I loved left me for other men, I was in jail for four months, I have schizophrenia, paranoia, atypical depression and Bi-polar I have dyslexia. I tried to kill myself four times I hurt people beyond repair. I ruined lives, this isn’t suppose to be me succeeding, this isn’t suppose to be about my journey making it I was suppose to die! I had all the odds against me, and instead of looking at my hardships as lessons I looked at them as having a horrible life.

Well I take my beatings, I grew fat, I grew tiresome, I grew hurt. I still believed in something better, I believed in my comedy, I believed I was funny when friends and family members and people told me I was not funny I kept at it, and now I have a nation of people saying you can. So I am saying back I can I will, I cannot afford to lose tomorrow, I cannot walk on stage and fail, Failure isn’t a option.

I was destroyed for a long period of my life, I laid down looking up at the sky asking God for one chance.. Save me I asked him, help me, and he did. I am hoping that I can do this, I am wishing that everything in my life gets settled even more. Because of people saying I love you, I believe in you I can now say I love others as well as myself. I am here to help these people, that is my destiny. The only way I can save them from their pain is to make them laugh at mine. That is my destiny that is why I have been put through so much hardships.

Because of my site, I gained so many friends, nice caring people that likes me for me. I have gained a heart bigger than I had before, and it is funny because it is just a site. But I perform and act goofy and I make people get over there pain. Me, a man tormented by pain is making others get over there’s. That is telling me this is what I am meant to do, no looking back at the past saying why, I know why because I have to help I have to make others lives better by just making them feel like they are not the only ones going through the pain I am too.

I once was a much hated man I once had nothing now I have something, I have Love for myself and others. I have fans, I have friends, I have a dream. And the journey to make that dream a reality is the greatest part of it all. One night three years ago I was riding my bike home, I started to look at the sky it was dark and the stars looked so pretty.

I begun speaking to god telling him how beautiful the sky he made was. I begun to realize I am proud of what I been through because now I have a dream a dream I can fight to bring alive. My heart was beating and I felt so good, I thought all that happened because I had to make these people know I am here for them. That night I made a promise, I said God I promise you no matter what! I will become a great comedian, I promised on behalf of my grandma my friends even the people that hurt me so much I promised on their behalf I promised them all.

I thank God for the people he brought to me in my time of need the people that are self sacrificing like me i want to thank him for giving me the strength to not end my life. I want to thank you all for supporting me as well.

I will be back on JTV in two weeks on the 25th with a completely new show format, new characters, better pranks, better everything. I will make a name for myself in the comedy circuit I will conquer I will help. Everyone this is it, tomorrow I will walk on stage and it will have began

My destiny will have began.